Funny Stirling Engines!!

[vamoose]

Changed the Topic and the 1st joke a bit.

A 'Stirling engine piston' and an 'Internal combustion engine piston' walk into a bar, order a beer, and are seated. The Internal Combustion piston rotates 90 degrees to the Stirling piston and says, I Carnot afford that, can you absorb it, to help take up the heat? You can recoup it next round.
The Stirling piston spins and says,
That's no way to Conduct yourself!

[hr]

If anyone has any funny Stirling engine designs, situations, events, photo's, stories or quips, please put them up.
(or maybe I've misjudged, and tin can engines are a totally serious subject)
'Dad' jokes (and explosions) are especially welcome.

[Ian S C]

Vamoose, you'v got a big hot air machine in Canbera, we'v got one in Wellington, theres one in london, and Washington, but I think the ones we design and build here produce more useful power than those ones ever have or will!! Ian S C

[Jerry]

I think the hot air machines Ian mentioned all suffer from the same problem, too much dead air space in the upper cylinder!

[vamoose]

Tin Can Bureaucrats!
All rattle and humm...

(Tin cans please don't take offence, it was not my intention to bring you down to the level of a bureaucrat)

[vamoose]

Why do soda cans make good stirling engines?
Because theyre full of pop!

[hr]

I guess Baked Bean and Spagetti tins would work well also...
(sorry, but any Respectable joke list requires a fart joke)

[vamoose]

How do you end up with a small fortune from making Stirling engines?

You start off with a large fortune....

(I stole this from a comment I read somewhere, I hope it isn't true)

[Ian S C]

I think your quote came from Richard Branson, how to becone a millionair, be a billionair, and buy an airline. Ian S C

[vamoose]

So I suppose if someone really wanted to burn some money, they could buy a stirling engine powered airline....cha-ching!

[vamoose]

A good quote about Stirling Engines from a builder at a Maker Fair:
"Don't ask me how long it took to build it, ask me how long it took to make it work!"

[vamoose]

Making stirling engines run properly can be difficult,

But at least it ain't Rocket Surgery....

[Ian S C]

I thought it was Rocket Science, and Brain Surgery, at least those two are fairly simple, just follow the instructions in the book. With Stirling engines there are books, but some of the stuff needs interpreting, and the rest you'v just got to wing it. Ian S C

[vamoose]

It was, but i mixed them together (for s#!ts and giggles, (shiggles)), making a comparison to 'stirling engine surgery'.

Regarding the book side of things, i have just this weekend bought (through ebay)

Modelling Stirling and Hot Air Engines (James Rizzo)
and
Build a Two Cylinder Stirling Cycle Engine (David J. Gingery)

Whats your opinion of these books? (have i wasted my money)
I'm trying to clue myself up on Alpha engine scenarios. So far, all my stirling engine information has been internet sourced, a cumbersome and frustrating process (no reference to this forum though, its good fun).

Have you got any book sugestions for getting a bit deeper into Alpha engines?

vamoose
(waiting at the mail box)

[Ian S C]

Vamoose, you'v done well buying James Rizzo's book, one of my best, and most powerful motors, is Dyna from his book(page145), mine runs free at 1800+rpm, and produces its most power at 600 to 800rpm, It is labeled my second engine(or something similar), in my gallery, it's now the oldest of my motors, as the older one has been rebuilt as a Ringbom motor, similar to one known as Tapper, see page 154 of the above book.
I don't know the other book, but I would say that it will be of value to you.
Regarding other motors, including ALPHA, look out for book 2 of J.G.Rizzo's "The Stirling Engine Manual", I know that they are rather expensive, thats why I don't have book 2.
Modelling Stirling and Hot Air Engines is very much the same as book 1 of "The Stirling Engine Manual", so the one to look for is book 2. Ian S C

[vamoose]

Some researchers at NASA are comparing Stirling Engine 'SE' and Internal Combustion Engine 'ICE' specifications. The Stirling researcher “accidentally” knocks the internal combustion engine off the bench, onto the Internal Combustion Engine researches foot. He hops around madly and yells 'SE' what have you done. I need some 'ICE 'on that.
The Stirling researcher apologises, picks up the engine, and as requested, drops it on to the other researcher's foot again.

vamoose

[vamoose]

Who's the special bit
That's holds the heat machine to all the links?
'Shaft',
ya, damn right!

Who's the cam that would twist his neck
For his brother flange?
'Shaft',
can you spin it?

Who's the rod that won't cop out
When there's pressure all about?
'Shaft',
right on!

They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother --....
Shut your mouth!
But I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft'
Then we can dig it!

Its a complicated plan
But we carnot understand it like Mr Stirling...
'Strong Shaft'

[hr]

'Stirling Engines' Can you cats dig it?

youtube song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFvRvSxsW-I jump to 2.38 if your not 70's enough
original lyrics
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/shaft/themefromshaft.htm


Sorry if that seems like a bit of a stretch to some, but I’ve run out of jokes for the moment.
Unless someone else posts something, I will eventually have to revert to 'Knock Knock' jokes.....

I'm serious, I'll do it.....

vamoose